Attached to an email; a video clip of my beloved Goddess. She is half turned towards the camera, playing with Her long blond hair, adjusting it over her shoulder. She looks gorgeous and beautiful and sexy and every kind of adorable. She gives me Her irresistible slow knowing smile. When She speaks Her voice is soft, seductive and, on this occasion, especially for me.
“Today’s the day, phil. I am locking you up. For how long?” A pause and another knowing smile. “That’s none of your business.”
(Absolutely!)
This is followed by instructions for locking myself into chastity and sending the keys to Goddess.
That was over three years ago.
I’d been in self-imposed chastity for the few weeks before this just for the thrill of deliberately denying myself to honour my Goddess. That was fun in its way but once the key – the only key – was in the mail and beyond recall there was nothing to compare with the thrill of submission I felt. For a few days my cock and balls were at the mercy of some people in the Royal Mail and Canada Post, although they didn’t know it, but I chose not to dwell on that. (I suppose posting this now gives me an opportunity to thank them, whoever they were, for safely delivering my package.) About a week after I posted it Goddess acknowledged receipt of the key and then I knew my cock and balls were in the absolute ownership and control of the most beautiful and desirable girl I’ve ever seen in my life, the incomparable Goddess Valentine DeVille.
Sometimes I wish I could have had this experience 25 years ago when my libido was a constant distraction and firing on all cylinders. I would have been climbing the walls in absolute agonies of desire and frustration; it would have been exquisite torment but what an experience! I am not decrepit though. Everything still works. My experience has been the slow burn rather than the towering inferno.
The background ache of frustration builds gradually but I embrace it rather than fight it or try to ignore it. Eventually it becomes a constant, delicious feeling; a reminder that I belong to Goddess Valentine, that She owns and controls me. When I think about that single wonderful fact, as I’m doing now as I write this, or surrender generally to erotic thoughts, the ache can get very intense. I’ll feel like I’m going to cum at any moment; my pants get soaked in pre-cum and I squirm with frustration and longing, my cock teased and tormented by the restriction of the cage. But nothing happens. I don’t cum. And while all that’s going on I know it’s Goddess Valentine doing this to me; these sensations, these intense emotions, are a gift from Her. If I were free to masturbate whenever the urge took me I would never experience anything half as intense as what I feel because Goddess keeps me locked up and denied.
Night time erections are a perfect example of that. The cage of the CB3000 is anatomically shaped to match the shape of the penis. Before it’s fully engorged the head of my erecting cock fills the space at the end of the tube. It then feels as if someone is squeezing the head of my cock. Sometimes it’s a constant pressure, sometimes it’s a rhythmic squeezing like being teased. Meanwhile the whole chastity device is being pushed away from my body on the end of my stiffening cock so that the ring behind my balls is pulled forwards, squeezing my balls and often dragging on the skin of my scrotum, stretching it and producing a burning sensation. Inevitably all this wakes me up with the one certainty that this teasing and tormenting, sometimes even torture, is being done to me not by myself or by the device, but by the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, Goddess Valentine. And that truth produces a cycle of arousal, teasing, torture, and denial which has sometimes gone on for half an hour.
Wet dreams are amplified too. Orgasms became explosively intense, and exquisitely tormenting, with repeated ejaculations forced painfully through a constricted erection as weeks of denial discharge themselves. When they’ve been at their best (yes, ‘best’) these have had me writhing around demolishing the bed in torments of tortured ecstasy. Then the cycle goes back to the beginning. Except it isn’t really the beginning. My balls are never completely emptied, desire is not sated; merely the pressure is taken off and feelings of longing and hopeless desire become more acute, not less. My awareness of and sensitivity to female beauty becomes sharpened and every pretty girl I see becomes a torment, reminding me of what I ache for but am denied.
Over three years this emotional and physical cycle has repeated again and again. One emotion has increased steadily however. The longer I’ve been kept locked and denied the more devoted I’ve become to my Goddess. I already adored Her (She is after all achingly beautiful, amazing to know, and completely adorable) and was already in love with Her but as the months have passed I’ve fallen more and more deeply in love with Her. Goddess has become the centre of every single thing I do and now I’m totally devoted to Her. My only driving force is to serve and please my beloved Goddess. This is why the key to my chastity is now on its way back to me. I’ve noticed in recent weeks that the fit of my device is much loser than I would like. Whether this is because I’ve adjusted to it in some way, or because it was never as tight as I thought it was, I don’t know but the most important thing is that I’ve noticed I could, if I wanted, pull myself out of the device. I’ve no intention of doing this or even of testing the thought, but just the idea that I could free myself from chastity feels totally wrong to me. I don’t want to be able to free myself. I don’t want Goddess to free me. I want to be kept locked by Her, to be totally owned and controlled by Her, to be absolutely and completely Hers and to know it and to always have the physical reminder of it. Goddess knows and understands this.
So, after much sincere and heartfelt begging and several shopping assignments, the key is being returned so I can release myself, adjust the fitting to something properly secure, lock myself up again, and send it straight back and continue to be kept locked by the stunningly beautiful and totally unattainable girl of my dreams, the one true love of my life, Goddess Valentine DeVille.
