Things on the chastity front have been, and remain, a bit quiet so I’m going to talk about something else, although it’s related. It’s all related.
There’s one aspect of writing this blog that I have mixed feelings about. That is that I have to write it anonymously. Well, ok, most of this blog does need to be anonymous but it's hiding as Goddess's slave that I have mixed feelings about.
It’s the paradox of the amazing world Goddess Valentine has created around Herself that She lives Her dominant Goddess lifestyle quite openly while all of us who serve Her keep our part in Her world a closely guarded secret. There’s a certain thrill to that; having a secret existence, being part of this secret society of Goddess Valentine worshippers where even the other members remain anonymous to each other. Yet the fact is that if our relationship with Goddess became known to our families, friends, colleagues, employers, business associates, or whomever, it would not be understood and its becoming general knowledge could have potentially serious adverse affects on our lives. So we hide it. I hide it.
But for me that means hiding the one part of my life of which I am most proud and which gives me the most happiness, fulfilment, and satisfaction; my relationship with Goddess Valentine which has become closer than I ever would have imagined. My relationship with Goddess is my relationship. My chastity is the tangible (the very tangible) symbol of my absolute commitment both to Her and to my relationship with Her. Quite apart from Her exquisite beauty, Goddess Valentine is one of the most fascinating and delightful people I’ve ever known. I feel very lucky and proud to know Her and even more lucky and proud to belong to Her. (I still get a pang sometimes that we can’t be friends but we’ve talked about that and agreed it could never work.) I care about Her deeply and am absolutely devoted to Her. I love Her. My love for Her is entirely selfless and pure; I expect nothing in return except the privilege of devoting my life to Her and living in Her service. Because I love Her.
So I have in my life a very beautiful and wonderful girl I love deeply, to whom I am absolutely devoted, and who accepts my love and devotion. To me that is beautiful in itself. It’s as beautiful as any conventional love relationship. That’s why it bothers me that I have to hide it just because I’m Her slave and not Her lover. Of course I’m not Her lover; the point isn’t even worth considering.
Because of the way my life has panned out (a tendency to worship beautiful girls who were always beyond me, combining later with my emerging submissiveness) I was never going to have a ‘regular’ vanilla relationship; and I know for a certainty I don’t want one now. I may be unusual in the specifics of that but I don’t flatter myself that I’m unique in having arrived in this emotional place. This is the shape of relationship I was meant to have; it’s the one I dreamed about and longed for for years although I always thought it was impossible: until I found Goddess Valentine. So how many more are there like me? And how many without a goddess to serve? Are there enough genuine goddesses out there?
I wonder how this will pan out in the future. Where Goddess has blazed Her unique trail others have followed and more will follow them in the future. Some will be as genuine as Goddess Valentine (some are now) and win the sincere and lasting love of their most devoted slaves. Perhaps more and more committed and long-lasting goddess/slave relationships will be created until the secret becomes an open secret and one day goddess/slave relationships will be accepted as being no less valid, genuine, and committed, than any other form of relationship.
If it ever comes, that day is a long way off so I’ll continue to stay hidden and live my secret life. But I still don’t like it. Perhaps that’s part of what drove me to redecorate my bedroom recently.
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| Before |
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| Try hanging a picture over that! |
