Sometimes Goddess's generosity overwhelms me.
Last night Goddess sent me the whole photo set for the next Niteflirt PTV She is working on. They arrived with a heavy dose of irony though...
Well, yeah... since you wont be able to masturbate to the up-coming feature...
I am attaching the pics here so you can... VENERATE... all locked up... and tormented!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So that's what I did - venerated.
And was I tormented!!!!!!
This is one of the games I can play all by myself in chastity.
I put up selected pictures of Goddess and just go with what I feel, riding the wave and deliberately torment myself with them - feeling the intensity of my longing and desire for what I will never ever have, for what I will always be denied no matter what I do; or just feeling the intensity of my love for Her; different pictures have different effects. The only object of the game is to play for as long as I can stand it.
So I played the teaseandtormentmyselforaslongasIcanstandit game with this series of pictures.
Goddess won. Naturally. But then Goddess was playing with a stacked deck. Goddess has been incredibly generous with me over the years and I have over 2000 photos in my collection but none of them ever affected me quite like these ones.
I'm not going to go into much detail about the pictures - I don't want to spoil anything for anyone - but Goddess is projecting Her erotic power on full beam.
The first picture I looked at I could tell Goddess had been to the hair salon that day. Her hair looked absolutely gorgeous - so silky and soft and shining and there was masses of it. That thought was more than enough to get the game started. There was an immediate response from the naked mole rat and my aching balls. Having recently had a nocturnal mess-making frustration levels are rapidly building again. Goddess at the hair salon. That means someone stood behind Her with their fingers in Her hair, playing with it the way they do as they talk to the client in the mirror to find out what they want.
Hopeless, hopeless, longing - to have my hands in that beautiful shining, silky, soft long blond hair, to run my fingers through it, inhale the fragrance of Her shampoo; Goddess's to-die-for beautiful hair that's expensively pampered in the best salons in Montreal several times a week and always in the most perfect condition (sometimes Goddess will go to the salon just to have it brushed) - the most beautiful hair I've ever seen in my life.
So I'm sitting there, gazing into the silky depths of this mass of tousled waves and thinking all this while my cock is being cruelly teased and denied in its cage at the same time as my balls are being painfully squeezed and I have the sensation of wanting to cum. I'm literally squirming in my seat. And this is only the first picture. Eventually I'm forced to tear myself away from it by opening the next one.
In my twenties my fantasies settled into a common theme of intense tease and denial at the mercy of the untouchable young goddesses I always found myself (hopelessly) attracted to. Fantasy eventually led me to finding and being mercilessly look-but-don't-touch teased and denied by some gorgeous young professional dominatrixes. The emotional and sense memories of those experiences - being restrained by a gorgeous unattainable girl and then having her right in my face telling me what I can't have and making me want it even more - are intensely vivid.
The second picture in Goddess's new series is an extremely 'in yer face' image, provocatively erotic, impossible to ignore, and it exactly coincided with those memories, connecting with them instantly. At the speed of thought, all those old emotional and sense memories were woken; my emotions shifted from adoration to intense, urgent desire. The physical effect was just as instantaneous; there was almost a stabbing sensation in my balls and the torment from my chastity got even worse. I squirmed in my seat and said, 'Oh, Jesus, Goddess!' I was sick with longing for Goddess to be here; but the desire I felt was not for Her to take the longing away but to make it worse, to restrain me and cruelly, mercilessly, tease and torment me the way those gorgeous young dommes had done; but this time it would be Goddess Valentine, the most beautiful and desirable girl I've ever seen, the Goddess I love like I've never loved anyone else.
So that's the second picture.
The third one...
Some of Goddess's pictures make me love and adore Her, some make me want Her to be happy, some make me want to protect Her, some put me in awe of how perfectly beautiful and sexy She is, some do all of those things but I don't think (well, I'm sure) that none have ever so powerfully made that connection with my experiences of professional dominas. And the whole series is like that - in your face, provocative, impossible to ignore - every one triggering physical memories of pitiless teasing at the mercy of a beautiful girl and tangling them up with everything I feel about the equally real but even more unattainable Goddess Valentine DeVille.
Oh Goddess!!!!!!
"Here's something else you want, boy. Something else you'll never have. How long is it since you had anything like this? And you know that whatever it is you remember it could never have felt as good as I could make it. You love Me so much, don't you. Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!"
With each picture something like that was going on in my head and with the sense memory to make me feel it and therefor want it even more...
Picture after picture...
Eventually I tore myself away from the last one as if the thing had burned me. My balls were aching abominably. My emotions were in turmoil. I actually started pacing up and down trying to shake off the overwhelming tangle of love and desire and hopeless longing - and the frustration! I gave that up and went and got a stiff drink, something I almost never do. I tried to watch TV and ended up channel surfing and getting more and more annoyed at finding crap or adverts. When I eventually went to bed my head was still spinning. It took ages to get to sleep.
Sometimes the teaseandtormentmyselforaslongasIcanstandit game is not an easy game to play.
